i think my parents might get a divorce. is life after the divorce harder than living with the fighting? thanks.

Related Blogs

Tags: ,

5 Responses to “Divorce???”

  1. John M Says:

    Easier, harder? It depends on how you and your parents behave after the divorce.

    Divorce doesn’t necessarily end the fighting. In fact, divorced parents often drag their kids into their firghts more often than they may have before the divorce. Child support, custody, and visitation are just the obvious points of contention.

    Depending on your age, you may not have many options for avoiding post divorce fights. I suggest that you actively, but calmly resist any invitations to take sides against one parent or the other. Such invitations can come in the form of the obvious "Don’t you agree that your other parent is ____?" They can also come in a more subtle form such as one parent complaining about the other in your presence but not necessarily to you.

    For most people, not just kids, the worst invitation comes when they are around while their parents are fighting. Most of us get very upset when our parents fight and will do just about anything to get them to stop. (Even chimpanzees get upset when other members of their troop fight.) Whether you are successful at stopping their fighting or not, you’re going to end up feeling terrible just because of all the emotional energy that you burn up on their fights.

    Sorry for the negativity. My suggestion is that if the divorce does end their fighting, enjoy the peace. Find something different, something special, to do with each parent and enjoy the parent that you are with for the time that you are with that parent.

    If they fight, I suggest that you tell them how you feel about them fighting–that it upsets you, scares you, makes you sad, whatever it is you feel. I also suggest that you find someone in addition to your parents that you can talk to–a teacher, counselor, minister, friend–about how you’re feeling and what is happening at home. The key to feeling good is to develop a life that is not dependent on whether your parents are married or divorced, fighting or not fighting; and that’s not easy to do at any age.

  2. daljack Says:

    It totally depends on how your parents handle their divorce.

    If it’s anything like how they handled their marriage things don’t look so good.

    Just remember……one day you’ll be able to get out of the situation…..and none of it has anything to do with you.

  3. getmymackon Says:

    No. It gets easier after a while because you don’t have the fighting anymore.

  4. the obliterator Says:

    slap some sense into your folks

  5. Sweet Suzy 777! Says:

    Yes, it can be. You will be missing the parent that leaves. You are not responsible for the divorce and there is nothing you can do to stop it, if that’s what they want to do. Only good thing is that you have learned how not to treat your spouse.