I decided to end my marriage and i would like to do so out of court . Is it possible to still collect alimony? Or is this something only a judge can grant.

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    5 Responses to “DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?”

    1. Hector Ajax Says:

      Alimony is almost a thing of the past. You need the advice of a lawyer on this one. Some states do not grant alimony to anyone able and healthy enough to work. And some states only grant it until the divorce is final.

      It will depend on the laws of the particular state in which you live. But if you have children that are under 18 you will be granted child support.

      And there has to be a judge to rule on how much support or alimony will be granted. At least in most states that is the case.

    2. Legandivori Says:

      It is now called maintenance. He can refuse paying it until it goes before a judge. It will be retroactive, all of it….Apply immediately for maintenance, , including him paying all medical expenses, co payments, for MDs, lab tests, hospitalization, and all dental costs.

    3. Fran J Says:

      Why do you think he should maintain you? Not being offensive.

    4. sheloves_dablues Says:

      You can’t force your ex to continue to support you. If you want alimony, you will have to prove to a judge that you are entitled to it, and these days, very few women are entitled to it.

      You want to end your marriage but continue to access his paychecks? Dream on… Life isn’t like that – it’s time to get a job..

    5. T W Says:

      If you settle out of court, that is get a consent order, you agree with your husband on how to divide the assets, and on child visitation and on chils and spousal support. Except for child support, and certain other limitations, whatever you agree on you agree on, including alimony. However, it is almost unheard of foe a husband to agree to pay alimony if he is not odrered to by the court or to pay more than he is ordered to. There are two types of alimony. temporary alimony and permanent alimony.

      Under the law, there are several formulas for figuring the ammount and duration of alimony. Most of these formuals, however, are based on the gross incomes, not the net incomes of the parties, after deducting 20% for taxes from both parties (which is absurd, given he tax laws) and accounting for child support (but not medical insurance premiums) paid to cover children,and are intentionally skweed in favor of the recipient, and barely make an attempt to seem fair. Basically, you take the higher income spouse’s gross income, minus child support, minus the lower income spouse’s gross income, and divide by 2. If his gross is $3000 and yours is $1000, and the child support is $500, he will have to pay ($3000 x 0.8 – $500 – $1000 x 0.8) / 2 = $1100. In this case, he will have to pay you $1100. Alimony is supposed to equalize the net incomes of the parties, before child support, but here, the non-custodial parent is left with about $2600, after taxes (alimony is deductable), minus health insurance premiums for his kids (let’s say $150), minus child support of $500, minus $1,100 in alimony = $850, while the custodial spouse has $900, after taxes, plus $500 in child support, plus $1000 (alimony after taxes), plus about $250 a year in earned Income tax cerdits, equals $2650. Therefore the spouses are supposed to be equal, before the payment of child support and expenses related to children, but even though the child support is only $500, and the custodial parent’s share of the child-related expenses are assumed under the child support formula to be $166.67, the custodial low income spouse has $2650 – $666.67 = $1983,33, and the non-custodial high-income spouse has $850 + $500 =$1350. Obviously, that;s not fair. That’s one common way of figuring alimony, though.

      Now on the other hand, if you have been married less than 5 years alimony is unlikely, if you have been married less than 3 years, it is very unlikely, and if you have been married less than 20 years, it is probably only going to be temporary, the number of years you will get it being approximately one third of the number of years you were married. Also, it can be eliminated if you re-marry, but one of the parties have to petition for it to be eliminated.

      In my opinion, though, you should reconsider divorce. If he was unfailthful or abandoned you or if you are afreid for your life, then maybe I would say you have grounds, but maybe the better thing to do would be to work on your part of the problem and stay married. It is likely, with your current view, plus a history of divorce, that you will never be able to have a successfull marriage with anyone, and that would be a shame. You will never really get him out of your life or erase the past. that marriage will haunt you for the rest of your life. It is far better to swallow your pride and give up your anger, and do your part to fix the failed marriage, he is also willing to work things out.