How does a person start over after a divorce?

What are some ways to start your life over after the divorce is final? I am stuck in a rut and having trouble letting go of my married life. Husband is having no problem at all, he has cheerfully done all that he needs to do and is anticipating his new life. I am not so lucky. I keep going backwards. Looking at everything that has happened instead of venturing out. What can I do.

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    11 Responses to “How does a person start over after a divorce?”

    1. girl428 Says:

      Give yourself some time. Divorce is the nail in the coffin, and it can hurt. Don’t compare yourself to your ex. If you feel you are being morose, call a friend and go do something. Counseling to work through your feelings is a good idea. You will be all right, trust me.

    2. Z's Girl Says:

      Its becasue YOU are not trying to let it go and as you said are looking back at everything that happened. Why? Let it go. Leave the past in the past. Move on. Go out with friends, take vacations with family and friends. Think as if your life JUST started =] Be happy, things happen for a reason, and he was not the one fo ryou. Go out, have fun and trust me you will meet the right person the least you are expecting it. Thats what happened to me =] and i am very happy that my last relationship did nto work out with my ex and very happy he did what he did to drive me away from him and got me to a guys arms that means the world to me =]

    3. The Fat Man Says:

      Turn your head and walk forward, one step at a time.

    4. Lala Says:

      forget about the past and look into the future. just remember what ever you did wrong in that relationship was a lesson learned. think of you, its all about you now. the things you couldn’t do when you were with him are the things you should be doing now.you don’t need to think of him and what happened anymore that is the past. start making a future.

    5. Sufi Says:

      spend time each day (30 mins dedicated) to mourning and grieving the loss. don’t try to just forget about it. you have to do the work. and it is not luck. you need to put in the effort to recover from your wound. stop comparing yourself to him. focus on yourself and your recovery. i recommend taking a yoga class or belly dancing or both.

    6. Proud Daddy of 2 Says:

      Find something good to do. something that could keep you busy…
      Take a cooking class… Dance class…I suggest Salsa… it helps your self esteem go up once you get used to it.
      When my sister divorced her ex, she went back to school, worked hard, partied hard, made new friends, and took Salsa~ and she loved it!
      It kept her busy, healthy, and she’s got her groove back!
      She’s now married for little over a year.
      I’m sure you’ll be happier soon enough but only if you let it happen!

    7. mustanglvr Says:

      Its time that you no longer look back. If you do look back, think of it as an experience that you can now use for your future. Of course this is going to be hard for you and there is going to be sometimes where you are going to be upset or depressed. Its just part of the healing process. What you need to do is start focusing on yourself. I have found that going out with friends, redecorating my home, reading, working out at the gym, have all helped me. Find new hobbies or go back to old hobbies that you used to do before you were married.It helps to have support too from family and friends. It will take some time, but hang in there.

    8. Pythagoras Says:

      I’m not divorced, but I think if that was to happen to me, I would remind myself that I need to enjoy my life no matter what station of life I am in. While I may mourn the death of my marriage, I think I would celebrate the fact that I have a freedom that I did not have before. I would start by making a list of all of the things I couldn’t do when I was married, and then start doing them.

    9. ♥Pure Evil♥ Says:

      Look forward not backward. Think of positive things for urself. Tell urself ur better off w/ out him and then achieve that… Make urself better off w/ out him! Ur stuck cuz u choose to be stuck. Go out and explore, there’s plenty to do to take ur mind off things then b4 u know it u won’t even being thinking of married life.

    10. Aracely V Says:

      it is ok to (i am not sure of the word)… mourn.. i guess, your marriage. in my opinion your well on your way to getting over your divorce…its not a race to see who moves on faster. Think all you need to think about, get it out of your system, mind and heart. Only then will you be able to truly move FORWARD.
      Some things you can do that worked for me…. going out, making new friends, a new routine, catching up with old friends and family, i even went and gave myself a make over…
      Remember moving FORWARD is as fast a pace as you make it!

    11. Nicole Says:

      Its not easy to forget your marriage or your husband for that matter. It took me a long while, however the ex seemed to have no trouble at all. Women are more emotional than men, we tend to have trouble releasing emotional issues more than they do, or they just hide it better than we do !
      Try some new things, things you would not normally do. Surround yourself with positive and supportive friends & family. Do something that you’ve ALWAYS wanted to do but never got around to because of the marriage, work, life, etc.