Should I participate in a divorce support group if we are reconciling?

My ex husband and I are working on a new and improved relationship together, attempting to reconcile. I am having a hard time with the divorce even though we are still working on things. There is a divorce support group at my church and I am considering going, but I don’t really fit the criteria. I am not trying to cut off all ties or anything, but I could use some coping skills maybe. I am just wondering if it could interfere with the reconciliation process. Any serious thoughts?

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    6 Responses to “Should I participate in a divorce support group if we are reconciling?”

    1. JR Says:

      If you two are going to try to work things out, hon, you two need to be in counseling, not you in a divorce support group!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      You need to find out why your marriage is failing, if you both are hoping to save it, not how to cope as a single person.

      Learn some language skills on how to attack your problems rather than each other. Learn to say nice things to each other, and as well, sometime when to just shut the hell up.

      Marriage is a skill. Find out what yours is lacking if you hope to save it.

      It would be inappropriate to join a divorce support group !!!!

      You do indeed not fit the criteria.

      Divorce is learning to cope with a ‘death’. Unless you are going to "bury" this marriage anyway, you’re in the wrong book, on the wrong page.

    2. Katie M Says:

      Since you are working on your marriage you could spend your time at marriage retreats, and marriage support groups. If your church doesn’t have one, see about starting one up. It’s a necessary service and a lot of people could benefit from one. Good luck, I hope your reconciliation works. It’s nice to read that someone is actually planning on WORKING on their marriage.

    3. Cala Says:

      yes, you can still participate. it will do you good. you will get to know people and you can learn new things that might help you to improve your reconciled relationship. there is nothing to lose at all. in fact, when you hear so many sad stories from the support group about how all other people are going through misery, it might now motivate you to work harder on your relationship with your husband. good luck.

    4. wpa5152 Says:

      Before you can be anything to anybody, you have to be the best you you can be. I think your going to the support group especially at church is a great idea. The church is one place that you will get support even if you are trying to reconcile. But you need that support in the background just in case your reconciliation does not work out. You need to have some sort of support system in place. this does not mean you are in any way throwing in the towel! You say you attend church, me too! Let me ask you what criteria must anybody fit to attend church? That group will adapt to help you. I would rather have you attend there then be out there trying to mend things with your ex and having your heart and emotions exposed without any back up. Besides, there may be things the Spirit may put on your heart through interacting with others who are divorced that you can use in your situation. You also will be with loving nonjudgmental people who really care for and about you. Besides, I’ll bet prayer is involved in the meetings and what better salve than prayer for a hurting spirit?
      I really hope you and your ex can find each other again, Truly, I do. But there is nothing wrong with you supporting a support group that you can fellowship with in the meantime. You won’t be going through this alone, and remember HE won’t let you go through it alone.

    5. tibodad Says:

      A Positive Divorce Recovery Book for Yourself if Things Don’t Work Out

      I am a local author in Canton/Akron, Ohio and have just published, last October 2008, a book on divorce recovery called "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" You can search "upside of divorce" on Amazon and read the great reviews I have there. One of my top 5-Star ratings is from Tracy, who is the owner of a national web support group called WomansDivorce (.com), and has used parts of my chapters for her members going through divorce.

      I have sold over 60 copies locally and received the same great feedback, including one to the Church of New Hope in Stow, Ohio for their divorce support group.
      I have also sold 3 copies to our Stark County Libraries for circulation here in Canton..

      I am hoping you may want to buy some copies too to provide some good help and support to yourself. My book has a positive approach to divorce recovery and about how to make a happier and more enjoyable life after divorce.
      This would be a great gift and help to yourself if you end up still suffering fromdivorce.

      My author name is "Brian Daniel" for my two sons who helped me – Book Discounts are available on my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services (.com).

      If you want, I also would have a workbook version that could be used for support groups.
      Thanks for your consideration here.
      Jim Stepanic

    6. Chili Pepper Says:

      I’ve been divorced ten years. I happen to think working out issues in a group setting can drag you down. Individual counseling worked best for me. You need to be happy with yourself before you can commit to, or leave, a relationship.